Thoughts
by Underneaththeice
Summary: What WAS Gordo thinking while Lizzie was dating Ronny? An expansion upon Gordo's thoughts regarding Lizzie. LG, One Shot.


**Thoughts**

Author: Underneathice  
Rating: K+  
Pairing: Lizzie/Gordo  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lizzie McGuire, or any characters from the show. They belong to Disney Channel, and I'm just playing around with the characters for a little bit before I give them back. I make no money off of this, I do this strictly to entertain myself and fans of the show who just really want Lizzie and Gordo to get together already, darn it all.

As always, reviews are a girl's best friend!

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I remember Lizzie's first boyfriend. She was dating some guy named Ronny- her parents' paperboy. She did nothing but talk about him incessantly. It drove Miranda insane, but it was just as bad for me, or perhaps worse. 

"I guess I never thought about what it would be like when Lizzie had a boyfriend," I found myself saying to Miranda after Lizzie had talked about Ronny for the entirety of lunch.

Miranda turned and looked at me, asking, "What are you…jealous?" I was stopped in my tracks by those words. Jealous?

"_What?_" I asked incredulously. "No, no, I was trying to identify a different emotion... not jealousy..." Miranda seemed to be satisfied with this, and left for her own class. She didn't hear me mutter, "I think".

I repeated the same thing to myself on the way home that day: that I wasn't jealous. My mantra didn't hold up later on when I saw them together, though. They were _kissing_. My Lizzie was kissing some paperboy. It felt like a blow to the head- or to the heart. I'd never felt so devastated, or so jealous. I must have stood there for what seemed like an eternity, before I slowly walked back into my house and up to my room. She'd _kissed_ him, and I knew that it was her first kiss. For all that I'd encouraged her to go after Ethan Craft, I'd never really thought about what it would be like when she really did have a boyfriend- a boyfriend who _kissed_ her, and maybe even did other things with her.

I realized, then, that I hated the very thought of it. The thought of Lizzie kissing someone else, of dating someone else. I loathed the thought of my Lizzie sharing her life with this…this paperboy!

The problem was, she wasn't _my_ Lizzie. She was his. She had his ring, she was walking on cloud nine, and while rationally I knew that it probably wouldn't last, I wasn't thinking very rationally- instead I was paying attention to the tearing, aching sensation in my chest. I was paying attention to the thought of Lizzie spending less time with me, and more time with Ronny- and how much that hurt. Was this how it felt to have your heart broken?

I spent days thinking about how to tell Lizzie how I felt about her. I spent hours deciding how to convince her that her best friend, old reliable Gordo, was better for her than her parents' paperboy. In the end, I really shouldn't have worried that much- but it was like me to over-worry, to over-analyze.

She didn't show up at lunch the day before Valentine's Day. I knew that something had to be wrong- since when did Lizzie miss lunch, even if Miranda and I _were_ sick of hearing her talk about Ronny? So, I looked for her.

Eventually, I found her in the library, and I knew even before she said it what had happened.

"Ronny broke up with me," she told me, in tears and trying not to cry. I hated to see her cry, but the relief I felt when hearing those words was amazing. Ronny was out of the picture. "He's a loser," I found myself saying wholeheartedly. I almost wished I hadn't, because then Lizzie was insulting herself.

"No, Gordo, I'm the loser, okay? He likes another girl. She's probably prettier than me, and she's probably smarter than me, and she's probably a lot more fun than I am!" Lizzie sounded convinced, and I hated it. I hated to hear her insult herself, just as much as I hated seeing her cry.

Didn't she understand that she was beautiful? Sure, she could be something of an airhead- her crush on Ethan and her brief relationship with Ronny were both good examples of that. Lizzie was a lot of fun to be with, though. Most of my life, in fact, revolved around adventures with her- whether it was babysitting, sneaking onto a music video set, or even being saved from an obsession with Dwarf Lords.

"No, she's not," I found myself saying. I wanted to touch her, to pull her into me, but I was holding back. I didn't know how she would react, to being grabbed by her best friend.

She was skeptical of my words, I could tell. I didn't know who this girl was- I just knew that Lizzie's now ex boyfriend liked her, and that she wasn't Lizzie. "How do you know?"

"Because," I replied quickly, "There's nobody prettier than you, or more fun to be with." How true those things were, at least to me. Yet there was no dawning comprehension on her face, no evidence of a revelation. Why didn't Lizzie take the hints I gave her? When she responded that I'd forgotten smarter, I gave a short laugh, adding "Yeah…well, I was including myself in that." I couldn't tell her that I thought she was very smart, except when she was pining after Ethan or this Ronny character, instead of pining after me. A guy couldn't tell his friend that, could he?

"I feel so awful." She was still crying, but she gave me one of those little smiles, and my heart turned over.

"Yeah…I know," I began. "But you'll get over it. Whereas that guy? He's going to realize what an idiot he was. He's going to feel awful for the rest of his_ life_." I know that I would have, if I'd had Lizzie and then let her go. If the time ever came for me, I hoped that I wouldn't be so stupid as to let her get away.

"You're such a good friend, Gordo." I cringed inwardly. I didn't want to just be her friend. I wanted to be her _boy_friend. "Yeah, well…uh…" And I stopped, because she was starting to brush away her tears. I stood quickly. I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her, that I wanted to be more than her friend. That I wanted to kiss her and hold her hand and take her out to a movie so that we could make out in the movie theater.

"What? Gordo, what?" Her words brought me out of my thoughts, and I opened my mouth again. Yet the words wouldn't come. Maybe it was too soon- she needed to get over Ronny. I didn't want to be the rebound guy. So I settled for a decidedly lame, "Uh…nothing. Nothing!" and walked out of the library with Lizzie, glancing at the torn up papers she'd thrown all over the floor.

Someday, I would tell her. When she was over him and her smiles came easily, I'd tell her just how I felt.


End file.
